We all go into college with this vision in our heads of becoming absolute best friends with our roommates, sharing our best years together and ultimately becoming bridesmaids at each others weddings. Alright, maybe I lost a couple of you with that wedding part but for the most part it is true.
I made this post for people who are a little apprehensive about sharing a small living area with someone who is essentially a stranger while making it a blast. Here are a couple pieces of my advice to help you make sure that you and your roommate go from strangers to best friends...or pretty close.
2. Keep your side clean - I understand that each person is a bit different in the way they go about arranging their things and we all have different levels of cleanliness. Thats totally okay and I believe a great deal of living with your roommate is about compromise but that being said no one should have to be suffocated by your mess. Depending on how cleanly each of your are, you can set some ground rules from the start about how much mess each of you can tolerate, who cleans what and when it will be cleaned. I think a good general rule is that it should never take more than 5 minutes to make sure you living space is neat and presentable to a guest. As for my roommate and I, we are both pretty neat people. Our room never gets messy because we just take the time to put things away immediately so there is never a huge clean up job. I know there is always the urge to just leave stuff around but your a big girl now, pick your bra off the floor and put it away.
3. Communicate even when its not necessary - This piece of advice seems pretty basic but for some reason its not all that common. I know plenty of people whose roommates float around the room never even acknowledging their existence until they have a question or need something. Major screw up. I know things will be awkward at first but just saying "Good morning" for instance when you first see your roommate in the morning instead of rushing off shyly to brush your teeth will make a world of a difference. We are all afraid deep down that our roommate is a crazy psychopath so joke with them a bit and just have friendly conversations about their school, their hobbies, their favorite band, etc. Once they know that you are normal just like them and you start to open up a bit the awkward tension will melt right away.
4. Respect privacy and private time - It can be hard to find some privacy when you live in such close quarters with another person. Take your private conversations outside or to a quiet common room. Don't snoop around their things. Make sure that your roommate is aware and okay with all visitors that are coming to your room. ( This conversation may be awkward but its necessary.) I think the golden rule (do unto others as you would want others to do unto you) applies here.
5. Include your roommate in your plans - Are you headed to the grocery store? Ask them to come with? Are you going to explore the outer edges of the campus today? Make it a little adventure for two. There is undeniable bonding that happens when you share experiences with a person. More experiences lead to more things to talk about, easing tension as well. When I first met my roommate, we went to explore our school arboretum together. It was great to see the new area with her and figure out how we could connect unfamiliar roads back to the ones we already knew.
6. Compromise - I mentioned this a bit earlier but I think it deserves its own full explanation. We were all created differently and we all have a different set of habits. Not everything your roommate does will thrill you, thats where the compromise comes in. Things like sleep hours, cleanliness, talking on the phone, visitors, etc need to be discussed and compromised on early on to avoid conflict down the road. You will thank me later.
7. Establish traditions early - If you're someone (like me) who wants the room to smell good all the time, start using air freshener from day 1 in your dorm room that way your roommate doesn't think its in response to something they have done. Same thing with taking out the trash or dusting. Set your ground rules early on so that they are clear should issues arise in the future.
8. Be new together - College is all about new experiences so why not share them with your roommate and make memories. You are both confused and both new to this so don't be afraid to ask them to tag along as you explore new things and figure your new life out.
I hope you enjoy this list I put together. Feel free to share your own pieces of advice below.
-Kel
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